Gun Safety Guru Pillows

'Does this outfit make my concealed weapon look big?'

'That's why i never wear my mobile phone next to my gun.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

America, are we learning anything?

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

AI Safety Officer

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Arms race - USA and Russia.

"Does the N.R.A. know about this?"

Beware of Everything

Nice park. . .

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

Safest Airline in The World

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

"Aaaughhh! Don't play with that!"

A new factor now coming between?

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'