Self-defense Buff Pillows

'My wife gave me a pair of nunchucks for my birthday -- I think she's trying to kill me!'

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Mod Kwan Doh

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

Man fights with his shadow.

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'