Self-defense Enthusiasts Pillows

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Football Chameleon

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

Stun-gun target practice.