Self-defense Buff Gifts

'My wife gave me a pair of nunchucks for my birthday -- I think she's trying to kill me!'

Overjumpers

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Women's Martial Arts Center

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Martial Arts

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Stun-gun target practice.

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

Man fights with his shadow.