Self-defense Buffs Gifts

Stun-gun target practice

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Women's Martial Arts Center

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Mod Kwan Doh

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

Martial Arts

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."