Self-defense Aficionado Gifts

Rudolph's Krav Maga demonstration was brief, but from that day forward, none of the other reindeer laughed or called him names.

"I KNEW we shouldn't have let Health and Safety run the self defence course!"

"Sorry. My new phone looks a lot like my stun gun."

Taekwon DOHHEAD: 'Grrrrr!'

Lamb CHOPS - Martial Arts School for Sheep.

'I don't think the pepper spray was meant to be used as a condiment, Harold.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

Do you want to see my karate chop?

'It's not fair - he always chooses her to demonstrate on...'

"Predators go for the easiest prey, so if you pretend to know karate, they'll tend to avoid you. . ."

Green Belt

Women's Martial Arts Center

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

Martial Arts

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"Here's the weak point."

Martial Arts

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'I'll teach you to call me a cowboy builder! Go for your gun!'

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."