Self-defense Fanatic Gifts

'I may be a 97 pound weakling, but nobody kicks sand in my face!'

Overjumpers

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Women's Martial Arts Center

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Martial Arts

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."