Self-defense Lover Gifts

The Karate Master

Overjumpers

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Women's Martial Arts Center

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Martial Arts

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

Stun-gun target practice.