Self-defence Pillows

Mugger put off by smelly runner

'Hey, watch the threads.'

'Okay - imagine you're a bailiff coming at me with a repossession order.'

"Yes dear, I know I've been taking self-defence classes to deal with this kind of situation. But this is my karate instructor."

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Mod Kwan Doh

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

Man with Sword in Penholder

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

Man fights with his shadow.

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'