Self-defence T-Shirts

'Dang! This guy's good!'

Mugger put off by smelly runner

'Hey, watch the threads.'

'Okay - imagine you're a bailiff coming at me with a repossession order.'

"Yes dear, I know I've been taking self-defence classes to deal with this kind of situation. But this is my karate instructor."

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

Martial Arts

Mod Kwan Doh

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

They Are Not Going to Take Me

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

Martial Arts

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

Man with Sword in Penholder

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'