Sedentary Habits Gifts

"I realize it's too cold to go for a walk, but I think you should so some activity during the winter months."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

We never fly anywhere anymore.

"No matter how many times Martha berated Tony, she just couldn't break him of his habit of not chewing his food."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Rodin's Nailbiter.

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"I think I've taken my morning routine too far."

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"Whay do they think about all day?"