Sedentary Activities Gifts

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

A businessman sits behind a desk; a nameplate on the desk reads "A. Nellson: Desk Potato".

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

Card night for introverts.

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

"It seems like everything these days is new and improved. . . except you."

Girl on couch considers channel-hopping to be a sport

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

Modern Childhood

'It's repetitive strain injury - try using the thumb on your other hand for the television remote.'

"I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!"

"He can't come to to the phone - he's sleeping the sleep of the just-can't-be-bothered."

"Sometimes I think that your pedometer app would give better results if you strapped the phone to your arm."