Seasoned Sportsman Gifts

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Football Chameleon

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

A day at the transgenic races

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Ratminton

Saving a Heart

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Gary turns 40.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"