Professional Sportsman Gifts

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

Wow... The Performance Enhancing Drug For The Rest Of Us...

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Currently Boston

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

'Mother will catch you!'

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Professional football.

"Amazing! It's a new world record folks!"

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

Rugby Mad.

The Off-Season

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

The weight of winning gold.

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"This better be important."

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"

Mr Met