Sportsperson Gifts

"I'll be the headlights, you be the deer."

"I'm un-retiring today. Spending time with my family with hell."

Face off.

Delightful Out-Door Exercise in Warm Weather.

'Yes, this is the happy hunting ground, but you still have to turn in the bow.'

'Stop nagging - I'm fishing as fast as I can.'

"My husband thought he'd try his hand at trophy hunting."

Cricket

"Don't be fooled - he's no pushover."

Sportsperson is happy with most likes

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Football Chameleon

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Monica Seles

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Ratminton

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"How should we divide the teams?"