Sports Person Gifts

"He's like Tiger Woods before his comeback."

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Bowled over again!

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Football Chameleon

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mixed Doubles.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

350 Feet.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'