Professional Athletes Gifts

'When your grandparents said they were going to drop in on us, I didn't think they meant literally.'

A Shocking Springtime Realization

Professional runners chasing money

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Yearbook

Bullseye!

Monica Seles

"Tour de Frank"

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

31. 19. 55.7.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'