Future Pro Athlete Gifts

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in T.V. commercials!'

'...But my stupid parents said no!!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Football Fans

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Exercising

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Currently Boston

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

Children playing football.

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Future Wrestler

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

A boy with a football

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'