Aspiring Pro Gifts

'I'm thinking of jumping right from JV ball to the NBA.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

What else is there to wish for?

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

The Amateur Golfer

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"We thought we could put in the details later."

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"This better be important."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

Always stick to the script.

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'