Aspiring Careerist Gifts

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

"But I want a career, a family, and a cracker"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

What else is there to wish for?

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

My brilliant career

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"We thought we could put in the details later."

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."