Careerist Gifts

"Let's do it, let's fall in love."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

My brilliant career

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Day one, post grad

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Get out there and keep your job!'

Someone loses his pension.

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"Ambitions... to retire on full pay and just go fishing."

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

"I think I've been spending too much time here at work. When I went home last night my wife didn't recognize me and had me arrested for trespassing."

"...I thought I was too smart, too idealistic to end up this way, but LOOK at me! I've become an entrenched bureaucrat!"

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

"We don't have anything right now, but we'll put you on standby."

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

You are more than your job description.

'Your ad said you were looking for a people person.'