Aspiring Athlete Gifts

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

Banked on a college degree without an NBA career to fall back on.

"I'm thinking of giving up thinking about trying to run a marathon this year."

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"Ugh . . . nevermind."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Winning isn't the only thing, Junior. It's how much money you can get in a pro contract."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I could do that!"

Lazy man reading a fitness book.

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

"So he got a trophy for good sportsmanship – that doesn't mean he won't go to law school."

'So I'm playing major league baseball, sweating and toiling in the dirt and grass day after day. But I always dreamed that, someday, I'd make it here.'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'He wants to be a footballer.'

"I can't believe I didn't make the football team!"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

What else is there to wish for?

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Exercising

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''