Aspiring Olympian Gifts

Living the Dream

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'Doug is determined to make it into the U.S. bobsled team for the 2014 Olympics.'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'