Olympic Aspirant Gifts

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Olympic Climate

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

A scarecrow goalie

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"I'm dating an Olympic gymnast!"

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'We're in luck. Not a word about steroids.'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'Doug is determined to make it into the U.S. bobsled team for the 2014 Olympics.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

Alien abducts Olympic athlete.

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...