Aspiring Gymnast Gifts

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"She gets her musical ability from me."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"You've been saying we're getting an inground pool since we got married, and I gave up."

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

Always stick to the script.