Future Gymnasts Gifts

'Wow! Your head weights 23 pounds just like your feet!'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

Exercising

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"I'm dating an Olympic gymnast!"

'In which on-line university will you enroll?'

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

Parkour for the over-40s.

Gymnast tangled up.

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

'You're never going to follow me in my trade, Son - you may as well go to university.'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'