Gym Hopeful Gifts

'Goodbye, Nicholas.'

DumbbellsSmartbells.

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Cheerleaders

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

Fitness Course.

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

The Wonder Gym.

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"I was thinking, maybe karate isn't for me. Tio Ruben was a golden glove boxer. Maybe I can take up boxing! You don't know anything about boxing, do you, Tia Carmen?"

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

A cat looks confident about balancing on the beam.

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

Gym. It took him forever to find one with a cup holder. Beer.

'This drill has nothing to do with football. I just like humiliating the players.'

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

When I said take more exercise Mr Potter I didn't mean right now.

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

Bible Weights

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

I told you to take the stairs instead of elevators. Taking escalators isn't meeting me halfway. (Published originally on March 27, 2009.)

"Thinking really hard about joining the gym is mental exercise!"

With exercise equipment, it goes on layaway after I buy it.

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

'Ed's inventing a masculine exercise routine using a very large football.'