Aspiring To Play Sports Gifts

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I AM at my usual position."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Perils of the double play.

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

The Amateur Golfer

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

First Prize!

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."