Trying Out For Sports Gifts

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I AM at my usual position."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Perils of the double play.

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'Here we go again...'

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

First Prize!

Future Wrestler

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Olympics create interest in curling.

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'