Aspiring To Play Sports Pillows

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I AM at my usual position."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Perils of the double play.

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

The Amateur Golfer

First Prize!

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'