Sportsmanship Enthusiast Gifts

'It's gone behind you.'

"Harry can never remember whether it's the winner or the loser who's supposed to jump over the net."

'Just shake hands please.'

'Good game...'

'We could have a problem here lads.'

"You've got to be the worst loser I've ever met."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Ratminton

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Gary turns 40.

A day at the transgenic races

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Saving a Heart

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."