Sportsmanship Enthusiast Pillows

'It's gone behind you.'

"Harry can never remember whether it's the winner or the loser who's supposed to jump over the net."

'Just shake hands please.'

'Good game...'

'We could have a problem here lads.'

"You've got to be the worst loser I've ever met."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

A day at the transgenic races

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"How should we divide the teams?"

Ratminton

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Saving a Heart

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Gary turns 40.