Seasonal Satire Collector Pillows

The Three Wise Women

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

The Frankenstein snowman.

The water desk

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Slave Drivers.

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

My boss is a real turd.

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"Did you get some work done?"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'