Seasonal Comedian Gifts

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

Spring: The Return of the Prodigal Sun

The first jackass of spring

A vampire pounces on Santa as he delivers presents.

Buy One Get on Tree.

"There's a big, hairy thing at the door? Funny - Halloween is over!"

"This is my favorite photo of our autumn leaves."

"Little help?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"I love this time of year."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The Month of August

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Christmas Socks

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

Snowman Romance

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"Did you get some work done?"

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

The Four Seasonings.