Seasonal Humorists Gifts

The stages of winter

'Relax, Ted, it's only a phase!'

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

Fall, in summary...

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

'Santa Claus again for you.'

Quiz: Name the plan local authorities have for ridding streets of snow. . . Answer: Spring.

"Oh no ... I'll never lose any weight this way."

"Little help?"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"I love this time of year."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The Month of August

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

Weather today.

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

Christmas Socks

Snowman Romance

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

"Did you get some work done?"