Seaside Scribbler Gifts

'Dear diary, went to the beach again today.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Punch&Judy/Counselling

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

'Gee, Grandpa, you sure have a way with animals.'

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Musical Prodigy

Writer’s Corner

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

Writer's Block

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

'If you hold this shell to your ear you can hear the ARRRGH!'