Nautical Scribbler Gifts

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

OOPS!

Musical Prodigy

A writer goes sailing.

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Writer’s Corner

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

"Careful - it's full of lies."

Kate Atkinson

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

Dear Diary...Royal Diary