Sailing Scribe Gifts

A writer goes sailing.

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Girl - 'How come they're not affecting you, mister?!' Man - 'Simple, I'm using 'Writer's Block'.'

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

"Hi...Marvin Ramage - composer/ arranger/ musician author and rich."

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

"So basically, it's an autobiomeoirography!"

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

Monks form copier service.

'What luck!'

And now on trumpet... 'Tha she blows!'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

Giraffe Sailing

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

'Your moon is on Saturn. Your sun is on Venus, and your hand is on my thigh!'

Sailor Writing

Monk on PC.

"Mr De Winter, please! How am I supposed to portrait you if you keep doing this?"

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

'It's a U-boat...on a key chain.'