Seance Attendee Gifts

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Here we are."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Did you have a cat?"

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

'Pick a business card.'

"You're on mute."

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

AI Summit

"The Pastor requested that no decaf be served. The congregation is nodding off during service."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"I have eight spirits coming through."

Argh, typical! I always think of a terrifying thing to say after the s

'All these conferences look the same.'

'I'm singin' in the rain, what a glorious geelin', I'm happy again...'

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

Ann had seen many amazing things at science meetings in the last 20 years, but the most amazing thing was seeing another woman.

This may help you understand my presentation.

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

Professor Malinowski Failed to Impress His Audience with his Small Bang Theory.

"Thanks for coming, Olga - I want you to help me contact my husband."

A giveaway tan line...