Seance Attendee Gifts

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Here we are."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Did you have a cat?"

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

'Pick a business card.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

"You're on mute."

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

AI Summit

"The Pastor requested that no decaf be served. The congregation is nodding off during service."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"I have eight spirits coming through."

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

'All these conferences look the same.'

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

'I'm singin' in the rain, what a glorious geelin', I'm happy again...'

Ann had seen many amazing things at science meetings in the last 20 years, but the most amazing thing was seeing another woman.

This may help you understand my presentation.

"Thanks for coming, Olga - I want you to help me contact my husband."

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

Professor Malinowski Failed to Impress His Audience with his Small Bang Theory.

A giveaway tan line...

"No one will take me seriously in these shoes."