Seminar Attendee Gifts

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

Unlucky Tonight's Seminar Will Change Your Life,

I'm attending a 3 week, 6-part seminar with 15 speakers to learnhow to think for myself.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

How to engage an audience

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

Time management office worker

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'