Seminar Speakers Gifts

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

TIME MANAGEMENT Seminar: Today's speaker - Time Management Expert Dr. Jones' Wife...JOANNE

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Campaign for Plain English

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Changing Minds

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

How to engage an audience

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'Yes, that person there...'

Time management office worker

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'