Seminar Leader Gifts

'Dang, I forgot my notes!'

Henry trained himself in the 'dramatic pause'.

Communikations Semminar.

"He was asking for a fifty quid consultation fee!"

"Alright, folks, this is the part of our seminar schedule when we take a paws... or is it 'pause'?... I'm not much for spelling."

"We'll stop for a bread, water and toilet break at 11.30... on Tuesday."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

How to engage an audience

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'Yes, that person there...'

Time management office worker

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'