Seminar Attendance Gifts

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

How to engage an audience

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

Time management office worker

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"I hope I haven't taken you aback by asking you to attend the change seminar."

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."