Attending Seminars Gifts

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

Are you sure we had to attend a one-hour seminar to receive a free flight?

"You snored through the whole motivational seminar."

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

'This is one of the most powerful marketing tools known to man!'

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

"I'm sending a note home to your parent company."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

How to engage an audience

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

Time management office worker

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'