Seance Participant Gifts

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"Did you have a cat?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

'Yes, that person there...'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

"You're on mute."

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"I have eight spirits coming through."

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

'No, thanks. I'm fine.'

Tortoise & Hare.

'Ah, a stepping stone to success.'

"Thanks for coming, Olga - I want you to help me contact my husband."

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

"One knock for yes, two knocks to leave a message, three knocks to speak to an advisor..."

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Madame Babushka: Palm reading, seances, portfolio management.

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