Quirky Seance Goers Gifts

'E. I. E. I. O!.. I think we've just made contact with old Macdonald!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

United Church of OMG

Birds doing the 'wave'.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Did you have a cat?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"You're on mute."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Out for lunch... GOD

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'How come I never see you in church?'

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

"I have eight spirits coming through."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

Man waiting to receive communion drinks soda

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

Argh, typical! I always think of a terrifying thing to say after the s

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.