Event Participant Gifts

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Sloaney Pony.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'Yes, that person there...'

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"How much longer are you going to be?"

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

"Any apologies for absence?"

'No, thanks. I'm fine.'

Tortoise & Hare.

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

"And now, let’s welcome our keynote speaker... I truly have no idea who this person is, that’s how good and ghosty they are."

'Ah, a stepping stone to success.'

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

Husband and wife at the races.