Event Attending Gifts

'We should have called weeks ago.'

Sloaney Pony.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

A day at the races

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

All dressed up and no place to go

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'I'll take it!'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

How to read the dress code?

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Zoo Society Costume Party. Lot's of people had the same idea --- We're surrounded by fake gnus.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"Edwin says Cole Porter is overrated."

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

"Any apologies for absence?"

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events