Event Attendance Gifts

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Sloaney Pony.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'I'll take it!'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"You've got to blurb me to her."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

"Any apologies for absence?"

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

'All these conferences look the same.'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

'I understand he hasn't missed a concert in 14 years.'

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

The Singer

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

'She's just ring through - held up at the hairdressers.'

Husband and wife at the races.