Attending Events Gifts

Seating arrangements.

"Has it started yet?"

"Why do you have to come? Because I went to your Super Bowl, that's why."

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Sloaney Pony.

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Deodorant required.

"Those who didn't get raises were invited to a T-shirt cannon event."

Teddy Bears

"Any apologies for absence?"

Husband and wife at the races.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

All dressed up and no place to go

A man cheers

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'I'll take it!'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

How to read the dress code?

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

Zoo Society Costume Party. Lot's of people had the same idea --- We're surrounded by fake gnus.

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

'Here. Don't forget to put on your 'party face'.'

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

"Edwin says Cole Porter is overrated."